Sunday Solo Dates: A review of IBIS Hotel Nanyuki

Growing up, Kungu Maitu 1& 2, Ibis Hotel, Walkers (fast food & Kikwetu), Sarafina, the one in Likii, Ken
Chick, and Nyakio were the IT hotels. As my family and I took afternoon siestas, the middle-class families
would visit these establishments. Kungu Maitu 1 offered food and Nyama Choma, and Kungu Maitu 2
offered Nyama Choma and liquor, or at least that’s what my mum told me. Walkers fast food had the
best kebabs and served chips worth Ksh 100. By the time I managed to visit Walkers Kikwetu, I was
curvy and the comments had started coming in. I was so glad to find a place that offered organic foods,
this way I’d stop eating junk to stop my boobies from growing. It didn’t work. I grew up seeing functional
families visit these places together and wished upon stars, flying birds, and the rainbow to one day
experience that. I didn’t, my dad didn’t find the milk. To reparent my inner child, I will be visiting nice
restaurants on Sunday morning. I figured, seeing happy families at lunch would trigger me, so breakfast
sounds a whole lot better. As we all know, I’m broke as fuck! This means this series is a Cheap, not
affordable, breakfast review Nanyuki Town edition.

Ibis Hotel

Located next to Bata, I remember seeing this hotel every time we would go to purchase a new pair of
shoes. The big brown doors, the checked painting on the sides, and the big and expensive cars parked
outside fascinated me. The kids going in and out of this hotel looked nothing like me.
In high school, I tasted their samosas. It was love at first bite. Crispy on the outside, moist and meaty on
the inside. A perfect meat-to-pepper ratio. No raggedy onion in sight, just finely chopped dhanias. I was
in awe. Since then, every chance I get, I buy at least 2 samosas. Don’t tell my mum this, sometimes we
would steal money and buy 8 samosas and divide them between us. My sister would have 4, technically
3- you must pay tax to your elder sister, and I’d have 4. Guess how much we paid for each of them?
Guess, guess… each was Ksh50.

After finishing my KCSE, we didn’t know what course I should choose. My mum and I went to Nyeri to
inquire and see what the schools offered. We found ourselves in Nyeri Town, hungry and tired. If you
think I’m picky, you haven’t seen my mum. We strolled in Nyeri town looking for a familiar hotel. We
found the Ibis Hotel Nyeri. Back then , I didn’t know that hotel chains had the same menu, same
arrangement, and same uniforms. We ordered chips and sausages. Ladies and gentlemen… Ibis Hotel
serves a complementary soup per meal. I haven’t been fortunate enough to experience their dinner
menu but if you’d love some free soup, pass by Ibis at noon and order any meal.
Today, Morning

At the start of my cycle, I craved samosas. I tried the local samosas but the heart wants what it wants.
My friend, since friends love to see me eat, sent me 300bob to curb this craving. I didn’t manage to get
some then, but I finally made it today. This hunger was propelled by a slight cold, cravings for love and
affection, and seeing another friend devour samosas from Quick Mart without sharing. Imagine, they ate
as I watched.

The arrangement looks the same as it did 10 years ago, with additional staff and a coffee station. As a
caffeine connoisseur, I was delighted! For my breakfast date today, I had Cappuccino and 2 samosas. I
must warn you; the samosas are extra hot. I did find myself huffing to try and cool it. The coffee is
served with two tiny digestive biscuits. I wish hotels would serve more biscuits or at least tell us the biscuit’s brand so that we can purchase and eat them to our fill. As predicted, breakfast hours on a
Sunday, hotels around Nanyuki are pretty empty. There were only three of us. A lovely old pair. The lady
seemed happy and the old guka was glad to be there. There was a sharply dressed man who left almost
immediately. I used the word sharply dressed man as today’s preacher referred to teenage boys who
were dressed like grown men as sharply dressed.

As for the staff, I don’t know how to rate them. Apart from the Nyeri branch, the staff seem to be there
to only place your food on the table. The staff at Ibis Nyeri were calm, polite, and very patient. The staff
here, uhm, where do I start? So, I walked in and found them talking at the entrance, I said hi and
continued walking. I’m not a guest here, I know my way around. I didn’t know they had a coffee station
so I stand there reading what’s on the menu. One of them says ‘si, you go serve her”. I continue walking
to where the seats are. Two minutes later, a waitress comes and asks what I’d like to have. I didn’t see
the menu but I knew what I wanted. The food was served fast but no sooner had I placed my phone
down than the bill came. I was confused. The old pair got their bill after they had completed their meal.
Plus, other restaurants bill you after eating. Is this normal in Other Ibis Hotels? Or did I look like my
problems?
Total bill: Ksh 290
Cappuccino- Ksh 150
2 Samosas- Ksh 140

That’s it from me this week. Wishing you a productive week!

Edited by Gitau